Monday, June 21, 2010

Ways to Learn how to Forgive

We all know that forgiving someone who has hurt us can be very difficult. Frederick Luskin, PhD, author of Forgive for Good, states however that "people who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness. "Here are some ways to learn on how to forgive.

  • Calm yourself. Focus on something that makes you happy: a beautiful scene, a person you love, a happy event.
  • Don't wait for an apology. You might have to wait for forever to let go of your anger if you wait for an apology from whoever has hurt you - some people either don't know that they have offended you or don't want to apologize. Why don't you forgive the person even if he or she doesn't ask? Forgiving doesn't mean that you condone whatever he or she has done.
  • Remove the person's control over you. When you forgive, you remove the person's power over you. You release yourself from his power to make you angry, depressed or whatever feeling he may provoke in you.
  • Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Gain a probably enlightening perspective by putting yourself in the other person's shoes. The person may have acted out of ignorance or maybe even love in what he or she did.
  • Forgive yourself. Some people are their own harshest critic. Learn to accept and forgive yourself of your own failings.
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