Reasons Why Men Dump Women

They sure have enough excuses - "I need more space", "I think we'd be better off as friends" - but what are the real reasons men leave their ladies? We get behind the old line, "It's not you, it's me," to find out.

The thrill is gone. He won;t admit it's the whole reason, but it may be well be. When he starts feeling like he's seen your whole bag of female trick, or you're not the mysterious, glamorous creature you were when you started dating, he starts getting the itch to get out. Some men get far too caught up in the fantasy thing. Once that mystery and enchantment is gone-oh, say, about the time you ask him to pick up your laundry-he will be, too.

You've change. Shallow? uh-huh, but it's true: if you've stopped taking care of your appearance once you've got him hooked, he'll use that as a reason to bail out. (Incidentally, he's more likely to stick it out if he's let himself go, too).

You tried to change him. It's practically a cliche by now, how women fall for the "bad boy" with the mistaken assumption that they can remake him into the man of their dreams. It's dangerous enough even to try. But if you actually succeed, you can start counting the minutes until he cuts the cord. In an effort to get back to being the free spirit he once was, he'll change his surroundings-starting with you.

He can't breathe. Sure, he loves attention, but if your adoration starts to smother him, he'll bolt. Ditto when your relationship is marked by too mane spats, too many jealousy-or your constant need for his reassurance of how special you are, how solid your relationship is, and how much you can trust him.

You're not his ideal. He went into your relationship with an unrealistic idea of who you were and what kind of couple the two of you would be. Now that he's realized you're not The One, he's going to look for someone who is.

The Three A's to a Great Relationship

Are you having problems with your partner? Does your relationship need some cranking up? Address it as soon as possible. Most splits are due to gradual slips in each partner's behavior rather than a single cataclysmic event. This is a sad thing since it can be prevented. Here are some simple tips for in order for you to have a great relationship with your partner.

1. Appreciation. Gratitude is the simplest life preserver for relationships. It makes the other person feel seen and heard, that he or she matters. Strive daily to think of something that your partner did and thank him or her for it, even those on bad days. It will help you both weather the storms of love.

2. Attention. This advice goes out to men but women can learn from this too. Don't be too busy that you forget to give your partner attention. Husband, have you stopped bringing her flowers or giving her a note for no reason? Wife, have you become too busy with housework that you've forgotten to say I love you? Remember, you're committed to a human being, not to a work machine or a house robot.

3. Appearance. This tip is for women although men are not exempted. Men are visual creatures so take good care of how you look. Make your appearance a priority. And men, if you expect your wives to look good, please do the same as well.

A healthy relationship will bring back the emotions and desires that drive you to each other. So keep at it!

10 Ways on How To Let go of Past Loves

Its not that easy letting go of someone you love. Plenty of people are having a hard time letting go of past loves and are still attached to the memory of a past romance. Come unstuck with these techniques and discover yourself - happy and free. If you are stuck in an emotional tie that no longer serves you, it's time to set yourself free. Here are 10 fool proof ways to enjoy the present and release your past.

1. Get real about what was. According to pop psychologists, we are most magnetically attracted to people who embody the characteristics of our parents or early caretakers because we unwittingly seek in a partner someone who will re-open our childhood wounds. Our adult selves can finally heal those wounds, but the more negative those characteristics are(from critical and controlling to charmingly irresponsible) the more intense the attraction we feel.

We can get relief from out nostalgia for a past love by remembering that the intensity of the memory does not necessarily mean the relationship was best for us. Remember, what fueled the attraction may not have been love, but your soul's desire to heal the past.

2. Forget the merge-urge. Subliminally, people in love promise they will meet all of each others needs while having none of their own. This is why we long for the feeling of fullness again, of merged egos. But then it was an illusion and temporary and, in reality, it was not love. Had the relationship continued, you would have seen boundaries snap back in place, for no one would have made you feel that high forever.

3. Are you romanticizing? The persistence of a romanticized memory contains an addictive element but the element is not in the former relationship - it's in you. So toss out your rose colored glasses. Chances are you are romanticizing weaknesses as strengths. Was he self employed because of his independence or his inability to accept authority? A realistic assessment is empowering. Keep a cheat sheet of unflattering truths and refer to it when you slip into dewy daydreams. It is easier to let go of a human then a hero.

4. There's no such thing as "one and only". Repeat this 20 times. Ask yourself whether deep down you believe that remembering the relationship preserves it in some way. Write a new belief code, such as: "I have never left a relationship that would have made me happier than i am now." Don't mythologize as "one and only" someone who actually might have been unremarkable.

5. This is me -- free! Visualize yourself saying to a friend, "oh my gosh, I haven't thought about x-mas in years!" Absorb how fantastic you'll feel, how happy and energized, and say thank you for that. Remember that visualization is not about vision. It's about what you feel when you envision. Feel your freedom and cement it with gratitude.

6. Bury the memories. Your brain believes your body, sort of a reverse of the placebo effect. You begin to feel free of the past when you act free of the past! don't talk about the old relationship, don't note anniversaries, or send mental messages.

7. Turn to creativity. One of the best balms for emotional wounds is creativity, which is different from staying busy. Doing something creative, whether it is writing, drawing, composing lyrics, changing your hairstyle, planting garden, thinking of a great gift, or redecorating a room, connects you to yourself and a power greater than yourself.

And creativity is deeply engaging. It fills you from the inside out.

8. Be grateful. Swap longing reverie for gratitude. Be thankful for your blessings, for the good things in your life. This will help you from dismiss what you no longer have.

9. Exercise to exorcise the "ex". Go to the gym regularly, or go for a fun run. Regular exercise keeps your endorphin levels high and keeps you from falling into melancholy memories.

10. Shut the door on the uninvited guest. Do thoughts of a past love pop up at unexpected times? Respond to such thoughts as you would to a neighbor or acquaintance who drops by without calling first. Do a mental yawn and look for the nearest "exit".

Is the Guy You're Seeing Mr. Wrong?

Here's a nice article for ladies out their are having second thoughts about the guy they are dating. Do you have a feeling that the guy you're dating might be more of a dud then a stud? Take a look at some telltale signs.

• He is selfish. If the word compromise is alien to your man's consciousness, chances are he's only thinking of himself. Healthy men know how to make compromises, relationship experts say.

• He doesn't appreciate you. The guy you're dating should not only appreciate you but also respect you, your friends and family.

• He has no drive. Does your guy spend more time on gimiks with his buddies or watching TV than anything else? If he's busy doing things that don't take his life to new places, he might be a dud.

• He doesn't show emotion. To be in a healthy relationship, both parties need to be open and honest about their vulnerabilities - and not be afraid to show their emotions. If you find that you're giving more emotionally to the relationship than he is, it might be time to move on.

• He doesn't have a good relationship with his mother. If a guy's relationship with his mother is constantly strained, it's not a good sign for your relationship. He does not have to be a mama's boy but a guy - at any age - must have a loving and healthy relationship with his mother.

• He has no friends. Not having many friends, or having friends that are rude, is a sign that he's not easy to get along with. And men who are not easy to get along with must not impose themselves on women who seek a loving relationship.

• He makes you feel bad about yourself. Why would you want to be around someone who doesn't make you feel happy, successful and fulfilled? If he doesn't listen to you and constant;y puts you down, it's a sign of trouble.

• He's untrustworthy. if you are unable to trust your partner, you will spend countless time and energy wondering about his capacity to be honest and straightforward about your relationship.

Sexiness in your Voice

Now lets compare the last two actress who played the sexy villain Catwoman, most people said that Halle Berry could never out-purr the sexy meow of feline fatale Michelle Pfeiffer. But does that make Pfeiffer sexier than Berry?

A study shows that those with attractive voices are more likely to be sexually adventurous. Researchers had 149 men and women rate recorded voices according to attractiveness. The study also showed that the most appealing voices belonged to people who had sex at an early age, had more sexual partners and were prone to infidelity.

The audibly seductive men had broad shoulders and narrow hips while sultry sounding women had smaller waists and wider hips. Also, their pinky finger on one hand is almost the same size as that on the other.

A theory suggests that long before humankind discovered the light bulb, people relied on voice quality to determine sex appeal.

Relationship Traps: How To Avoid It

I had this post on my other blog, but I had to delete that blog because I'm trying to merge its content with this blog. If you want your love life to be successful, here are some relationships don't to keep in mind.

1. Don't try to change your partner. People who say, "If he/she loves me, then he/she will change" will soon find out how destructive this is in a relationship. If you love someone, you have to accept them - flaws and all.

2. Don't reject your partner to protect yourself. Those who feel the need to protect themselves by rejecting someone they love out of fear of being rejected need to sort out personal issues. If they feel they can't hold on to their partner, they have to first learn to accept themselves.

3. Don't expect your partner to be a mind reader. Communication is the lifeblood of relationship. A woman who thinks her man should know her needs is putting unrealistic burdens on him. Know what you want, ask for it clearly, and be ready to accept a yeas or no.

4. Don't think that it's your partner's role to make you happy. Your happiness is your responsibility.

5. Don't accuse your man of refusing to talk. Men will talk when they feel safe under the right circumstances. Don't coerce them into a dialogue if they're not ready.

Can a Woman make the first move??

A close friend of mine ask, "hey ray can I ask a man for a date? uhhh i dunno, i said to her if you had the guts to ask a guy or if you really like him(I'm kinda on a awkward position here). But glad to say that after a few month she has found a boyfriend, well the guy ask her out, she said. But bringing us back to the topic. if a female friend of yours ask you a similar question what would you answer?. I ask my friend albert, hes guidance counselor, he told me if she has done that, She would loose big time. Why I ask? He said" Man is by nature a hunter, He likes the thrill of the chase. He likes pleasure of the pursuit. But if the prey chases the hunter, the hunter loses interest very quickly. Because its too easy. The thrill is gone." Ok, I think my friend should be a priest for what he said hehehehe. How about you what would you say?